I Changed My Mind!

In my first blog posts "So You Think You Can Travel: Where To Begin", I mentioned that one of the most important things you have to figure out as soon as possible is the reasons behind your wanderlust. Why do you want to travel? I also explained that the motive behind this question is that it will come the day when the initial rush of adrenaline will ware off and you brain will begin to rationalise your current situation and you will want to give up on your dream. And this happened to me. I changed my mind!

After Adam and I had decided to embark on this journey I felt amazing: we were finally going to work towards our dream and make it real. I was ready to change my world and to share my story so that I could inspire others to change their lives too. I had my doubts, of course, because this was not the first time we had talked about dropping everything and going travelling, so in the back of my head I was really afraid we would give up at the first issue. However I let that thought drift away and I dived in the very long list of things that needed to be done!

I spent weeks setting up this website, editing it over and over again, selecting the best fonts and pictures, and at the same time I was looking for collaborations, writing blog posts, organising the social media for the page, trying to get some followers, speaking to people more experienced than me for advise, jotting down ideas for possible income and remote jobs, going to events to network, etc.

I was working non-stop till my eyes would literally close, and start working right away as soon as my eyes opened again.

I would get headaches for how much I was staring at the screen and at the same time I could not stop because I was so excited and eager to make this work. I couldn't help myself, it was all I could think about and I could not sleep until I was done with whatever was buzzing in my head.

Then I crashed: I had no energy left in my barrel, I couldn't focus my mind, and I couldn't care less! Everything was bothering me so much, I hated that I had to rely so much on social media to advertise my content, even though I know that this is exactly what being a digital nomad entails; I couldn't find inspiration to write. I felt sad and confused: I was looking at the endless list of things I had to do and felt overwhelmed. There was no light at the end of the tunnel.

So I wrapped myself in a blanket on my sofa and did nothing for 2 days, I didn't look at my phone, I didn't speak to anyone, I almost didn't even talk or move at all! I was looking at my flat and I felt safe, warm, comfortable, and I was just telling myself: "Why would you leave all of this? Why would you stop earning good money and living a life of comfort to wander around without a destination?". I reached exactly the point I was so afraid to get to: I gave up! My routine had once again sucked me back into it's rhythm and I was once again stuck in my quicksand.

But then I thought deeply about my motivations: I want to travel, I want to see the world, I want to be one of these amazing people doing great things for the planet and above all I want to live a life made of experiences and adventures...not things! My routine is slowly killing my inner fire, having more money is not making me a better saver, having everything at my finger tips is not making me smarter. My reality is so comfortable and easy that I go in auto-pilot most days and I am lazy; I am not using my full potential, I am not challenging my talents and I don't feel inspired.

I want to see what I am capable of by pushing the boundaries of my comfort-zone, throwing myself in unknown and unexplored territories and see how well I can adapt and survive. And that won't be easy, it won't be a walk in the park, but I am ready! I have never been more ready and I never will be. It's now or never!

Even if you think it's influential, your reason will be the path that leads you back on track when you will doubt yourself and won't make you loose sight of what is really important to you. So hold on your motivation and keep going strong until the day you will close your door behind you and open up to the world for the first time.

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